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JulieDoe

Julie Doe

The Proposal - Jamie Lancover Someone needs to buy this writer some commas. No, seriously...this writer needs to learn basic punctuation rules. She also abuses opening gerund clauses, both by using so many of them that it is laughably bad and distracting and by incorrectly using the clauses when she really means to indicate serial action, not simultaneous action. For an example of the laughably bad, just look at the opening sentences of Chapter 1. The writer also repeats words in close proximity to each other, uses filler words, writes stilted dialogue (no contractions? Really?) etc. All indications are that this is an amateur writer who really really needs a good critique partner and an English grammar class.

Now as for other aspects to the story, meh. The description of the sex that happens almost immediately at the beginning of the book is perfunctory and lacks emotion or impact. Also consider that the hero and heroine--and I use these terms loosely--are discussing how the hero can lie to his current girlfriend about why he wants to break up with her, followed by the sex scene which was initiated by the heroine cough***cheaters***cough, ending with the heroine getting upset that the hero came inside her even though she initiate the sex and NEITHER of them discussed safe sex at all during their little cheating romp. You'd think that one unplanned pregnancy would make a woman careful, but apparently not this woman.

After this less than stellar beginning, it was hard for me to continue reading the story. But I persevered...and was rewarded with yet another sex scene WITHOUT protection. This time the hero managed to withdraw before coming but good grief. He had had time to go dump his current girlfriend, pack his bags, and come back to the heroine's. He couldn't stop at a drug store and buy some condoms? Really? (and this sex scene was a clunkily written as the previous one).

After this, our lovely heroine gets sexually harassed at work and has her no-good ex come back and try to make up. She's apparently a speshul snowflake that everyone loves. Frankly, I quit reading when the two men I just mentioned get into a fight over her that lasts FIVE minutes. Um, nope. Not in the real world.

I'm glad this was a freebie. This was just horribly written, and I have read better on amateur writing sites.